Nursing Home Objections

Overcoming Objections

As people get older they start to think about what might happen if they can no longer live independently. Chances are, while they may know that moving to a nursing or convalescent home is a distinct possibility (and for some it’s even inevitable), they probably won't want to do this until the absolute last possible moment.

As such, it’s easy to go into denial.

If you’re an elderly person who’s starting to find it increasingly difficult to live independently, say you have the occasional fall; it's easy to fool yourself and your family for a while with various plausible excuses such as the rug was rucked up, the cat ran across your path at the last minute or you're just getting a bit more clumsy in your later years.  For years you've had a purpose to life, helped raised your kids, looked after the home and your wife or husband or gone out to work and felt needed and useful.  Yes, you've spent a lifetime caring for others and being "useful" in society. Then suddenly  the children have grown up, left the house and have families of their own.  You and/or your spouse have retired from work, so your time's your own, finally to do with as you wish.

This is great for many people but then perhaps they begin to realize that they are moving into a position of needing someone else. Suddenly instead of being the one who took care of everyone else, they are now the dependent one who needs others for their well-being. Whether it’s something like help walking to help eating to dressing or even toileting, it can be a humbling and sometimes embarrassing experience to have to ask for help.

It’s very easy to go into denial about needing assistance. No one wants to admit that they need help to perform daily tasks such as shopping and cooking, eating, dressing, bathing, taking medications, and everything else.

Put yourself in their shoes, imagine if you were in this position of failing health. Would you admit to yourself that you may now need some help from day to day?  Admitting it means admitting you need help. And if that means the possibility of going into a nursing home, you’d probably refuse this sort of "help" for as long as possible.

Likewise, your parent or other loved one may be refusing your help. When you open the dialogue regarding what will happen when they get older, they may outright (and understandably) reject the nursing home idea. It’s a hard thing to think about for your loved one when they still live independently – they hope that the day never comes.

However, for some that day will come. Financially, emotionally or physically the family can’t take care of the loved one, and the loved one can’t live alone. If you approach the conversation head on, diving straight in with talk about "putting" your loved one in a nursing ¦ convalescent home then in all probability your loved one will argue and refuse from the outset to even discuss the idea of going into a nursing home.  If, however, you approach the subject calmly and tactfully, outlining your concerns and start talking about a nursing home, your loved one may well be more receptive to at the very least discussing the idea of long term care.

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