The Right Time for a
Nursing Home
When Should The Family Consider
a Nursing Home?
Ideally, the sooner you start a dialogue with your elderly
relative and the rest of the family, the better. Even if the loved
one is in perfect health now, it’s better to talk about it sooner
rather than later, so that as a family you can make these decisions
before you are placed in a position of being forced to make these
decisions.
Also it’s important that your loved one is a part of this
decision-making process if he or she is mentally capable. After
all, it’s their life. They're the one that is going to have to
adjust to living elsewhere, perhaps giving up a cherished home or
possibly even moving away from friends. This is not something that
family members should decide and then tell the loved one about. The
loved one needs to have just as much say as everyone else.
Most people don’t start considering the nursing home decision
until they have to – perhaps the loved one is in the hospital and
will require care after leaving, or perhaps the loved one’s mental
or physical health is quickly declining.
Making decisions during this time can be extremely stressful for
the family. However, if the family has exhausted the other
alternatives (such as in home care or assisted living facilities),
then making the decision to place a loved one in a nursing home in
a sense becomes an "easier" decision because it’s the last resort.
Logically you’ll know what decision to make, but the be warned that
the emotional impact will still take it’s toll.
What sorts of factors might lead to the family making the
nursing home decision? In short:-
- if the family can no longer care for the loved one
- assisted living facilities do not provide enough care, and
- if the family cannot afford in-home care.
Consider some of these specific scenarios:
- The loved one clearly cannot live
alone, perhaps due to factors like decreased
mobility, poor self-care, loneliness, needing assistance with
taking medication, needing assistance with housekeeping and
cooking, etc.
- The loved one’s physical
health has declined so much that the family cannot
provide the help the loved one needs (e.g., special medical
equipment may be needed).
-
The loved one is in danger of hurting him or herself if she
stays in the home (e.g., frequent falls or the onset
of alzheimers or dementia).
-
The careprovider can no longer meet the
physical requirements
(e.g., heavy lifting, sleep deprivation, etc).
-
The careprovider can no longer deal with the
stress of taking care
of someone 24/7.
-
The careprovider cannot meet the overall
physical and emotionally overwhelming daily tasks, such as helping with
toileting, soiled bedding, etc.
-
The loved one is in the hospital, and will be
unable to return home
to live unassisted.
-
Other options have been considered or
exhausted, such as in-home care, assisted living facilities,
residential care facilities, a family member acting as
careprovider, etc.
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