The Right Time for a Nursing Home

When Should The Family Consider a Nursing Home?

Ideally, the sooner you start a dialogue with your elderly relative and the rest of the family, the better. Even if the loved one is in perfect health now, it’s better to talk about it sooner rather than later, so that as a family you can make these decisions before you are placed in a position of being forced to make these decisions.

Also it’s important that your loved one is a part of this decision-making process if he or she is mentally capable. After all, it’s their life. They're the one that is going to have to adjust to living elsewhere, perhaps giving up a cherished home or possibly even moving away from friends. This is not something that family members should decide and then tell the loved one about. The loved one needs to have just as much say as everyone else.

Most people don’t start considering the nursing home decision until they have to – perhaps the loved one is in the hospital and will require care after leaving, or perhaps the loved one’s mental or physical health is quickly declining.

Making decisions during this time can be extremely stressful for the family. However, if the family has exhausted the other alternatives (such as in home care or assisted living facilities), then making the decision to place a loved one in a nursing home in a sense becomes an "easier" decision because it’s the last resort. Logically you’ll know what decision to make, but the be warned that the emotional impact will still take it’s toll.

What sorts of factors might lead to the family making the nursing home decision? In short:-

• if the family can no longer care for the loved one
• assisted living facilities do not provide enough care, and
• if the family cannot afford in-home care.

Consider some of these specific scenarios:

• The loved one clearly cannot live alone, perhaps due to factors like decreased mobility, poor self-care, loneliness, needing assistance with taking medication, needing assistance with housekeeping and cooking, etc.
• The loved one’s physical health has declined so much that the family cannot provide the help the loved one needs (e.g., special medical equipment may be needed).

• The loved one is in danger of hurting him or herself if she stays in the home (e.g., frequent falls or the onset of alzheimers or dementia).

• The careprovider can no longer meet the physical requirements (e.g., heavy lifting, sleep deprivation, etc).

• The careprovider can no longer deal with the stress of taking care of someone 24/7.

• The careprovider cannot meet the overall physical and emotionally overwhelming daily tasks, such as helping with toileting, soiled bedding, etc.

• The loved one is in the hospital, and will be unable to return home to live unassisted.

• Other options have been considered or exhausted, such as in-home care, assisted living facilities, residential care facilities, a family member acting as careprovider, etc.

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