The Right Time for a Nursing Home contd.

Making the Decision with Your Loved One

As already mentioned, this is a decision you should make with (not for!), your loved one. While ultimately they may have a hard time accepting the decision, if he or she knows it’s the right one and they are involved in the decision-making process, it will be easier for everyone to adapt.

So how do you start the conversation?

Of course this can be a difficult issue to bring up. That’s why it’s better if you can start discussing this before you actually have to take action. The wholefamily can decide together at what point in the future the elderly person will no longer be able to live alone. For example, you may decide together that Dad can’t live alone any longer if he starts falling. Or you may decide that Mom can’t live alone any longer if she’s having troubles remembering to take her medication.

Perhaps you’ve already reached the point where the decision is inevitable. In this case, be honest and straightforward with your loved one regarding your concerns. For example, "Mom, I’m really concerned about you living alone because________."

Aside from discussing with your loved one the reasons that he or she can no longer live alone, you’ll want to discuss his or her priorities. Remember, this is going to be a huge transition for your loved one. You can make it easier by taking into consideration what is personally important to him or her.

Consider these sorts of priorities:

* How important is it to live near friends? How about family? Sometimes when family is spread all over the country, to live near the children means leaving friends.

* How important is it to stay in the same community?

* Would the loved one prefer an urban or rural setting?

* How important is keeping a pet?

* How important is it to live near a particular place of worship?

* What sort of help does the loved one need? For example, help taking medications, medical aid, help with personal hygiene, etc.

* What sorts of social activities does the loved one enjoy? For example, if he enjoys bingo is there a bingo hall nearby or is this part of the daily nursing home activity?

* What sorts of hobbies does the loved one enjoy? For example, if she enjoys gardening, will she be able to keep a few flowers or even a vegetable garden?

* What is the loved one’s financial situation? If you are seeking assistance such as Medicaid, you must fall within their guidelines.

This is not an exhaustive list. Talk to your loved one to see what they need in a particular nursing home setting.

Nursing Home Decision

Overcoming Objections

What is a Nursing Home

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